Monopolosers
by Sasu-Cakes137
Summary: Crack. Oneshot. Don't take the race car piece if you know whats good for you.


**Why did I write this fucking thing? Oh yeah, writers block on all the other stuff. Naruto and Homestuck. Just take this abomination. Also, this shit is crack.**

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

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"Ha! That'll be $2000 fucktards, pay up." Sakura slammed her hands down on the table-knocking over a few scattered houses in the process- as she awaited her rightful retributions. That'll teach those bitches to call dibs on the racecar before she could even suggest a game of _janken_ to decide who would get the treasured game piece. Nobody fucks with Sakura Haruno and gets away with it.

Beside her Karkat smirked smugly, thoroughly enjoying the looks of frustration and disbelief painted across Dave and Sasuke's faces. Never mind how this Earth game mysteriously ended up in the ectobiology lab. On a giant rock hurtling through space. In another universe. And how the two, undoubtedly coolest- _'yeah, the coolest _losers_'_- mother fuckers aboard said rock ended up playing against the hottest couple up in that shit (with Rose and Kanaya being in a close, sexy second of course).

The pink haired girl had turned out to be a master of Monopoly, dominating the game from the start. She ruthless snatched up property after property, strategically laying houses and hotels over their- more like _her_, Karkat didn't really get the point of this moronic game and mostly just counted the money and kept the cards in order- domain. It was pretty hot in Karkat's opinion, how she mercilessly ground their opposition to dust. He was totally going to let her have her way with him after they won.

"No fucking way, you cheated somehow. There's no possible way you can beat me-I mean us." Sasuke muttered, desperately scanning the board for the slightest discrepancy. Uchihas didn't lose. _Ever_. Not even in some childish board game; it went against the laws of nature. Well actually his and everyone else's existence at this point kind of went against the laws of nature, but the principal still stood.

"Read it and leak tears of shame, douchenozzle." The troll declared, pushing dark blue bordered _Boardwalk_ deed into his face. "Rent with one hotel, $2000; now hand over the currency and surrender this clusterfuck already."

"Shit dude, I think we're screwed." Dave piped up, examining what was left of their meager money supply. They were short $700, so they'd have to resort to selling off some their properties. It sucked pretty hard to lose, but damn, that girl was a demon or something. The game was probably over the second they left the _GO _square and Dave was smart enough to know when to quit and still have some of his pride intact.

"Shut up, there's no way I'm going to lose _them_." Sasuke sneered contemptuously. What a bitch.

"Whatever bro, I'm out." Dave shrugged and stood to go find Terezi and see a woman about some apple juice. "Later."

"So you want to play the hard way, eh Sasuke-kun?" Her knuckles cracked forebodingly as Sakura shot Sasuke a wicked grin and tossed the die into the air. "OK then, absolute humiliation will make your defeat even sweeter."

And with that statement she proceed to beat Sasuke's fine ass so badly, that the pain of his disgrace (and physical wounds too- there was a slight scuffle over free parking that left him a dark bruise across the right side of his face) would continue to be felt amongst the confines of time and space for many eons.

After her epic victory Sakura dashed away on an adrenaline high with Karkat in her arms, leaving Sasuke in a pile of completely crushed and conquered goo, and went on to have a steamy and sloppy make out session in a cleaning supply closet. There was much groping and butt touching involved on her part.

You go girl.

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**I don't even know how Sakura and Sasuke would end up there. Let's just say that they-plus Naruto and Sai, they're off somewhere else- also played Sburb and somehow ended up within the same universe as the Beta kids and trolls. I guess they might be from an alternate Earth or the sessions coincided with each other. Compared to Naruto, I have next to no experience when dealing with Homestuck. It's really cool, but frankly confusing as Hell in more ways than one; I mean you got time travel, alternate selves, paradox clones and a shit ton deaths. **

**Buuut the characters are great Karkat's one of my favorites and I jthink that if he and Sakura met, it would work. _I can feel it._**

**Oh, and _janken _is basically Japanese rock-paper-scissors.**


End file.
